Saturday, August 6, 2011
How do I stop from slipping back into my eating disorder?
My mom and dad are constantly tearing down my self-esteem. My mom is always saying how a shirt looks ugly on me or how I have no *** in these jeans or my hair is dull or something about me is just wrong. My Dad always says something about my weight, he caused my eating disorder 2 years ago. I developed compulsive over-eating after trying to starve myself and gained 20 pounds. I then developed bulemia and lost 30 pounds. I now weigh around 105 pounds at 5'1" and 15 years old. I been recovered for about 3 months now and don't plan on turning back. My Dad makes it really hard for me to live a healthy recovered life when he is telling me I can't eat this or that. Just about 15 minutes ago my family and I were in the kitchen and he walks in with Ice Cream and says Now Shelby you can't have any of this okay. I replied with Uhm why? Because Im fat? it's Not that I was going to anyways . you're the reason for my weight changes these past 4 years and walked off. My parents do not know about my eating disorder and they wouldn't give a **** if they did anyways. And no he was not kidding he was completely serious and what I said did not even make him twitch he does not give a crap about what destroys me or not. Right now I feel like sinking into a hole and letting my hunger eat me from the inside out. I'm so sick and tired of being treated like a worthless piece of ****.
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